And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him. –Hebrews 11:6

Lately, I have been running to keep up with my life. I actually am out of breath. When God creates an adventure for us…designed especially for us…we should be worn out … “for His sake.” Certainly I have been living no ordinary life. There is nothing ordinary about me right now. And the funny thing is, I think (know) that God created this in me long ago; this kind of non-conformist, unconventional, opinionated attitude. And I genuinely think the things I got whippings for as a child…God needed. God knew. God knew me. God knew the tools He would need to increase my faith. God knew the exact man I would need for an adventure we would be assigned…an adventure that had ‘lifetime’ attached to it. And I have seen His wondrous hand so much in the last 3 months…that I just trust Him in my life. Somehow…knowing that He knows…makes me able to walk in this adoption process. Knowing that He loves those three little Guyanese beauties more than I…is reassuring when I fumble things. Knowing that He created this desire in our hearts is comforting…when I have not seen their little faces since July 17th. Knowing that He walks them through each day is reassuring …since I cannot hold them or hug them or hear their laughter. I just have to keep walking into what He told me. What He promised…I can’t afford myself the weakness of looking back, of questioning the adventure. I remember who He sent. He sent Mary Michael. He sent Meg. He sent Jake. He sent Mallory. And He sent Mike and me… Certainly this resilience was the same resilience that drove my mother to her knees as I challenged her while I was growing up. But God would use it for His glory. God would need it for my current mission. God knew when He made me exactly what He would need for His greater good. And so I walk into His voice, His provision, His path. I have faith in His right arm. I am growing a Hannah faith. I have read her story a lot this week. Hannah was no ordinary woman…and I want to have Hannah faith. I want God to use me up for His glory, His purpose, His mission. So…I find myself busy. Busy about His business.

… “The Lord remembered her plea”… -1 Samuel 1:19

When was the last time you were accused of being drunk in church? I mean so grieved that the preacher thought you were intoxicated. That is what happened to Hannah. She wanted a child so desperately that she was aching out loud for God to hear her prayer. She made a promise to GOD that she would dedicate her firstborn child to the temple…if only GOD would hear and answer her prayer. Eli must have been taken aback. He had thought Hannah “impaired” by her spirit. How about us? Are we impaired for Him to move and have HIS way in us? Are we groaning for HIS PRESENCE? That was Hannah faith. Hannah seemed to find ultimate peace in the presence of God. She felt Him. She believed in Him. She waited on Him. Hannah went back home and GOD REMEMBERED her. It is biblically recorded…GOD remembered Hannah’s prayer!! Do we get before God and pray anything that is memorable? Do we carve out time that He hears and that pleases Him? Hannah knew how to pray because she knew Him. She felt comforted by His capabilities and she understood His resources. She anguished for His answer to her prayers. And GOD was moved. Hannah went home and became pregnant. And when Samuel was weaned…she left him in the temple to live with Eli, the ‘not so perfect’ father and priest. Hannah remembered that GOD had provided…and she trusted Him with her future. And God gave her 6 more children. So…what was the walk home from the temple like for Hannah? Hannah had to have heard Samuel crying…and yet she walked. Hannah had to have heard Satan’s taunting of “barrenness” and would there really be more children…and yet she walked. Hannah did not put her faith in her circumstances. Hannah put all of her faith in God…like Abraham; Hannah felt ultimate peace before God. And Samuel grew up to be a high priest for Israel because of the faith of his mother. Hannah is not counted as one of the ones of great faith in the biblical recordings of Hebrews; but her son Samuel is, Hebrews 11:32. Hannah prayed prayers that caused the Lord God to remember her….I want Hannah faith.

And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. -1 John 5:14

So I find myself in need of resilience these days. I find that I need to be able to “sift through the naysayers” and stand on what God has revealed. I find that my skin has to be oiled in His salve to endure the negativity of people who don’t understand how God works and moves. I have to keep walking when I hear the cries of comfort…or impossibilities…I think of God. I think of how He made me…I think of how He has refined me…I think of what He has shown me…and I just keep walking. Finding that the only peace I have is in His presence. He is sufficient. He loves me and I love Him. He has proved faithful thus far. He knows me. He knows my weaknesses and He knows my strengths. He knows my heart. He knows the three children I pine for in my spirit. He knows their weaknesses and strengths and He knows just what they need. I am walking in faith that He will provide a great collision of my family’s needs and the needs of Brian, Amy, and Davi’s needs. He knows the height and breadth of the undertaking…and I choose to have Hannah faith that He will see me through. Join me. Let’s pray like we are impaired. Let’s be intoxicated for His sake. Let’s have Him remember our prayers…

Hannah’s Prayer of Praise

Then Hannah prayed:

“My heart rejoices in the Lord!
The Lord has made me strong.
Now I have an answer for my enemies;
I rejoice because you rescued me.
No one is holy like the Lord!
There is no one besides you;
there is no Rock like our God.

“Stop acting so proud and haughty!
Don’t speak with such arrogance!
For the Lord is a God who knows what you have done;
he will judge your actions.
The bow of the mighty is now broken,
and those who stumbled are now strong.
Those who were well fed are now starving,
and those who were starving are now full.
The childless woman now has seven children,
and the woman with many children wastes away.
The Lord gives both death and life;
he brings some down to the grave but raises others up.
The Lord makes some poor and others rich;
he brings some down and lifts others up.
He lifts the poor from the dust
and the needy from the garbage dump.
He sets them among princes,
placing them in seats of honor.
For all the earth is the Lord’s,
and he has set the world in order.

“He will protect his faithful ones,
but the wicked will disappear in darkness.
No one will succeed by strength alone.
Those who fight against the Lord will be shattered.
He thunders against them from heaven;
the Lord judges throughout the earth.
He gives power to his king;
he increases the strength of his anointed one.”

– 2 Samuel (New Living Translation)