Archive for the ‘Devotional’ Category

God’s love is meteoric, his loyalty astronomic, His purpose titanic, his verdicts oceanic. Yet in his largeness nothing gets lost; Not a man, not a mouse, slips through the cracks. Psalm 36:5-6 (The Message)

Mary…was planning an engagement. Her thoughts were on Joseph. She had secrets, dreams, and visions of her future created in her mind. Arrangements were being made for her betrothal to Joseph with her family, and in her village; and probably with her friends. But a visit from God…changed everything. An angel appeared before Mary with news that could change her forever. Her plans would be altered. Her dreams might disappear. Her life would be redirected. Her heart puzzled. Her questions perplexing.  Mary, an ordinary girl by village standards, had just been selected as the only one worthy. The perfect choice. God picked Mary. God picked Mary to be the mother of Jesus. Mary would be the virgin vessel. Mary had something that got God’s attention. Mary had her plans interrupted by the God of the universe. God stopped Mary’s planning because He had something much greater planned Himself. Mary was picked to ‘hold humanity’ in her tiny belly. The hope of redemption. The possibility of forgiveness. The bridge to salvation. Mary’s response was critical. Would her own plans interfere with God’s plan?  Gabriel crossed his fingers as he approached young Mary….

“The really wonderful moments of joy in this world are not the moments of self-satisfaction, but self-forgetfulness. –John Piper

We all know how this story unfolds. We know what happened when Gabriel met Mary. We know that she was curious at first asking only a humble clarification. And we know right away she did not think of herself as she responded to the angel, “Yes, I see it all now: I’m the Lord’s maid, ready to serve. Let it be with me just as you say.” –Luke 1:36(The Message) Mary was of Davidic descent…but she was not what people expected. She was a young beautiful girl of approximately eighteen. She came from a poor family…she was not wealthy in the world’s eyes, but she was of royal lineage. Do you love that about God?  He could have picked anyone. The richest young woman. The most financially secure. The wealthy family. The “real” royalty. But God picked Mary. A simple girl from a poor village drew His attention. He did not go to her in the temple but in the quiet seclusion of her humble surroundings. And immediately Mary gave no protest to this interruption. She gladly welcomed the news. She was obedient from the first initial conversation. Wow…when I think of how we all protest, complain, and whine, I am ashamed. I wonder how many lost opportunities I have missed. How may blessings I have been denied because I wanted the interruptions explained, examined, and questioned. God prompts us for His plans and we want a written document with ‘pre-nuptial like’ addendum before we proceed. The God of the universe desires to use us and we want to hold on to the things that collect dust and eventually rust. God desires great things to get His work accomplished on earth and we don’t want to be bothered sometimes. Mary was not so shallow. Mary saw an opportunity to represent God. Mary chose to be obedient to the interruption of her life. And aren’t we glad she did? Mary must have been the most sparkling vessel God saw. Her faith must have shimmered and reflected His face. Mary never mentioned Joseph or what he might think. Mary only claimed “to be ready to serve.” Gabriel unclenched his fingers and let out a hearty sigh. Delivering a message to Mary was easy. Mary listened. Mary obeyed. Mary moved. What do we do when our plans are interrupted by God?

The will of God is never exactly what you expect it to be. It may seem to be much worse, but in the end it’s going to be a lot better and a lot bigger. -Elisabeth Elliot

God interrupts things because HE KNOWS what’s up ahead…and we don’t. We think we know. We make plans. We weigh everything. We examine evidence…and most of the time we make the final decision. We imitate ‘spiritual exercises’ but would totally freak out if things went terribly different than we plan. And yet everyday God is looking for a few Mary responses….because there is much work to be done. The plans we make become more important. Is our comfort so important that we deny His desire to use us? Have we become so disobedient that we can’t hear His voice? His plea? His bellow? Eternity hangs in the balance and He needs deep vessels. Mary had mountainous faith and desire to obey. What about us? What do we say to God when He sends Gabriel to tap us in the middle of a perfectly ‘good’ life?

O Lord Jesus Christ: In obedience to your holy claim upon me, I give myself anew to you this day; All that I am, all that I have, to be wholly and unconditionally yours for your using. Take me away from myself, and use me up as you will, when you will, where you will, with whom you will. Amen -Charles Whiston’s Snowflake Prayer

Charles Whiston prayed this prayer every day for years, believing that over time; this prayer (when it was truly from the heart) would be like one snowflake falling upon another. If you pray it once or twice, it wouldn’t make much of a difference, but if you prayed it again and again, it could change your life. As snowflakes compact against each other on a mountainside, they grow in density and size, ultimately forming a glacial mass that can chip away at the roughest pieces of rock. And so it is with the snowflake prayer. So what about you and me? Do we truly desire for God to use us to benefit heaven and accomplish His work while we are here?

I cannot answer for you…all I can say is that Gabriel paid me a visit in July. He asked me if I would open my heart, my purse, and my home to three little ones in Guyana. I fell on my face. I fell at His feet with an obedient spirit. And now??? There is the waiting. Waiting on papers. Waiting on Guyana. Waiting on moving. Waiting on people. Waiting on finances. Waiting is everywhere and I struggle with the wait. But Mary comforts me. I read her story and I know there was waiting. Waiting on Joseph to align his heart. Waiting as people pointed. Waiting as there was speculation. Waiting as she became a spectacle. Babies are not born right away…so even though Mary was deeply obedient …she had to wait. That is the lesson I am learning now. And so every morning I wake up thinking of Whiston’s prayer…trying to build the density for great and wondrous things for myself, for three orphans, but most of all for Him…and His ultimate decision on how I can best be used by Him. There are days when I see Him squarely. There are days I can hear him softly calling. There are days when I feel His warmth all around me. And there are days where he requires me just to go as he watches and works. So….I wait. And I see a swing set He sent. I wait and I see beautiful comforters (I could not afford) that he sent. I wait and He sends a “team” to build a backyard fence. Truly all He asks is that we have an obedient heart for His work. And so I wait. Sometimes glorious. Sometimes quiet. Sometimes painful. I read about His strength through His word. I meditate on His handiwork (my neighbors.) I listen to His melodious music. I weep. I giggle. I tremble. I dance. I sip from His cup of delight. And I learn. Mary, His beloved mother is my inspiration. If her young life can be interrupted in such a glorious way…I want that for myself…and for my family. Gabriel unclenched his fingers delivering His message to Mary…I hope that He finds me as willing to ‘lay down my life’ for the beautiful, life giving…King Jesus. Interrupt. Intrude. Ignite my heart with your whisper of greater things….a glacier mass that shines with your Glory and shimmer.

Praying for Brian, Amy, and Davi. Sustain them with your abounding love. Retrieve them with your mighty right hand. Defend them with your sword of grace. Surround them with a host of heavenly arsenal. Rescue them with your mercy. Have compassion on their circumstance. Use us for your plan. Use us as your intelligence. Have your way in all of us most Honorable and High Priest. “Take me away from myself, and use me up as you will, when you will, where you will, with whom you will.” All according to your will, King Jesus!

What do you think?  If any man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go and search for the one that is straying?  And if it turns out that he finds it, truly I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine which have not gone astray.

Matthew 18:12-13

My personal story:  In September, 1994, my family moved to Fayetteville, GA.  We were excited to jump into the community so we eagerly went to the Kiwanis Fair later that month.  It was just down the street at the ball fields so we loaded up and headed out.  At that time my children were 9, 6, and 2.  We had said that we would meet at the Ferris Wheel if we got separated, never dreaming we would.

There were hundreds of people there.  We went from booth to booth when suddenly I asked, “Where’s Bethany?”  She was 6 at the time and no where to be found.  My husband took off with my 2 year old toward the entrance to look for her and I was looking around where there was a clearing and . . . woods.  Yes, every parent’s nightmare.  We were crazy with worry and asked anyone we passed if they had seen her.  We alerted security but still no Bethany.  My stomach was getting sicker and sicker by the second.  The mind can really go wild with horrible imaginings in situations like this.

I think I might have been close to a meltdown when I heard, “ma’am?”  I turned around and there was a security guard with my sweet girl.  It brings tears to my eyes today and will always remain one of the most wonderful moments of my life.  Seeing my lost child found!  And I will tell you that I would still be at those ball fields looking for her today if she had not been found.  We went home overwhelmed and thankful.  It was hard to sleep that night.

My story is not exactly like the above scripture but this is precisely the one that God brought to my mind the next day.  He was showing me how much He loves the sheep but will leave all of the others in search of just one that’s lost.  We felt that.  Our 2 other kids were safe and sound.  We weren’t concerned about them but would’ve moved heaven and earth to find the one that was lost.  Oh the heart of our Father.  And there is not an emotional enough word in the vocabulary to tell you how happy we were at finding her.

Maybe you are or have been that lost sheep.  We all have been at one time.  The good news is that if you’re lost that means someone is looking for you.  Jesus.

Epilogue.  The funny part of the end of my story is that Bethany had gone to the Ferris Wheel like the plan we had made.  The 2 adults didn’t follow the plan!  She described us and exactly what we were wearing to the security guard.  We weren’t hard to find.  We were the crazy parents looking for their lost lamb.

Oh, and we never went back to the Fair again!

Woe to the world because of its stumbling blocks!  For it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come; but woe to that man through whom the stumbling block comes!

Matthew 18:7

“Woe.”  Now that’s not a word that we commonly use.  It’s not the same as “whoa,” meaning “to stop” or “slow down.”  This word is entirely different.  In fact the Greek definition reads like this –

“Of denouncing misery and pitying it; calamity, disaster.”

Not sounding so good for that stumbling block.

Now let’s see what “stumbling block” means – in the Greek of course!

1.  The movable trigger or stick of a trap, a trap stick

a.  a trap, snare

b.  any impediment placed in the way and causing one to stumble or fall

c.  fig. – applied to Christ whose person and career were so contrary

to the expectations of the Jews concerning the Messiah, that they

rejected Him and by their obstinacy made shipwreck of their

salvation.

2.  Any person or thing by which one is (entrapped) drawn into error or sin

So let’s combine all of this and see what we get.

Disaster!  Calamity to the world because of its traps and snares that are placed in the way and causing people to stumble or fall (whether it be ideas, things, substances, or people).  Now these traps and snares have to come but disaster and calamity to the one who sets up and places in the way these traps, snares and impediments.

That’s my interpretation based on the definition of the words.  I think it kind of speaks for itself.  We’d better not be a stumbling block nor put one in the way of someone else.  Christ Himself said that brings disaster and calamity.   Whew!

At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”  And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven.  Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 18:1-4

Doesn’t everyone want to be the greatest?  The “pet.”  The best at something – anything.  Don’t you love it when your name is called and better yet it’s called first!?  Being known, famous, adored is what most people want.  Even if we’re not honest enough to admit it, we want others to worship us.  We do!  This is not a new desire on man’s part.  It’s as old as time itself.  And to think that the disciples of Jesus – God in the flesh – wanted the same thing too is astounding.  They wanted to be adored by others and seen and Jesus’ favorite.  They wanted to be the greatest, the best.  They were in for a shock.

Jesus then illustrates His answer by bringing a child to the forefront.  This is the example of greatness.  Now know that it’s not child-ishness that He was highlighting but child-likeness.  And there is a profound difference.

Child-likeness Child-ishness

Trusting                                                      Silly

Simple                                                       Impatient

Real                                                           Thoughtless

Playful                                                        Impetuous

Eager                                                         Impulsive

Honest                                                       Rash

Spontaneous

Do you see the difference?  Jesus said that we can’t even ENTER the kingdom, much less be the greatest, unless we convert and become like a child.

Now let’s look at the word convert.  It means to turn around.  It’s similar to the word repent.  It’s a change of mind from what we were thinking to now thinking what God thinks.  It’s seeing our sin like He sees it.  It’s humility.  Then and only then can one even ENTER the kingdom yet Christ says that this one is the greatest.

The question remains – “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”  The answer from heaven is, “the one who humbles himself like a child.”  Do you trust Jesus like a child?  Are you real with Him?  Honest and truthful?  Are you eager to obey Him?  Are you spontaneous enough to go when He says, “Go”?  Not exactly the world’s definition of greatness but then again Christ is the antithesis of just about everything in this world.

Therefore, however you want people to treat you, so treat them . . .

Matthew 7:12

Honestly, I don’t think there is any exegesis needed here.  No Greek word studies necessary.  Let’s just do it.  What a wonderful world this could be!

The reason I write this is because of several incidents that have happened lately and the fact that I’m teaching Matthew 5-7.  The first incident happened at the Bridal Salon that I work at.  There was a beautiful bride that had found her dress but her MOTHER kept insisting that she continue trying on dresses.  She was negative, bossy and totally unsupportive.  Really?  Come on mom, did you not already have your wedding day?  Did your mom treat you this way?  (Maybe she did but can we not learn from other’s mistakes?)  Let the girl choose what SHE wants and loves.  This mom was mean.  I wonder if she would like to be treated in like fashion.

The second incident was with a young woman that I’m acquainted with.  It involves a boy (surprise, surprise!).  He came on really strong and told her he was interested in pursuing a dating relationship with her.  Really sweet and caring.  A couple of days later he sent a text saying he didn’t want to see her.  What?  A text?  Give me a break.  What a coward.  Couldn’t even call and tell her?  Is that any way to treat a young lady?

Now I know that both of these incidents are not life shattering situations and people have been treated much worse (just read the history books or watch the evening news!) however, if we can’t be honorable and kind in something as simple as a dress choice or a dating relationship how in the world will we treat each other when a true crisis comes?!  I certainly would not want to be around either of the aforementioned people.

Just think.  And of course pray.  We get into situations that are not easy to deal with.  That’s the time to pray and think about the way we can handle it.  No more knee-jerk reactions.  Christ has promised His Spirit to those of us who are His followers.  The Spirit gives us the power to act in ways that are kind, loving, and honorable.  Also notice that there is no caveat attached.  There’s no “ . . . if they treat you good then you treat them good.”  It’s not there.  The instruction is to treat others like you want to be treated.  Period.  It’s true that we might get kicked in the teeth.  At least we didn’t do the kicking.  Let love always be the motive behind your behavior.

A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor,
but a man of understanding holds his tongue.-Proverbs 11:12

I have always thought of Esther as a heroine. I grew up learning about her ‘gutsy appointment’ with her husband, ‘King Xerxes,’ as she revealed and exposed his sleazy confidant Haman. Haman had a problem in that he hated Jews…and Haman had tricked King Xerxes into a written decree annihilating all of them, including his wife, Queen Esther. Wow. Talk about some drama…this story oozes Hollywood’s coveted Oscar. Angelina Jolie could play Esther. George Clooney could play King Xerxes. Harrison Ford could play Haman. And Tom Hanks could play Mordecai.  The book of Esther has all the steamy, seductive, sinful characters we drool over…because we see ourselves in these characters. We see wealth we wish for, power we dream about, and beauty we would go to any length to possess. And God is conspicuously absent. There is no mention of Him in the book of Esther. There is no mention of God, there is no God speaking to the characters, there is no mention of prayer (only Esther’s call to fast), there is no great revelation of His presence. Scholars have argued over its place in the Biblical canon (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biblical_canon – cite_note-0a list of books considered to be authoritative as scripture by a particular religious community, generally in Judaism or Christianity) for decades. But there is something I loved as I studied Esther…peripety. Peripety is ‘the unexpected outcome’ in a literary work. A reversal of destiny… ‘a hinge,’ that changes everything… and reverses fortune. Haman had his plans. And God had His. God uses ordinary everyday pagans (like us) to get his will accomplished.  He seems distant and ‘not in the story and nothing could be further from the truth. We have the book of Esther to thank for divine peripety. Peripety that points to an ultimate reversal of destiny…and that we are not alone…

My God, rescue me from the power of the wicked, from the clutches of cruel oppressors. O Lord, you alone are my hope. I’ve trusted you, O Lord, from childhood. Yes, you have been with me from birth; from my mother’s womb you have cared for me. No wonder I am always praising you! My life is an example to many, because you have been my strength and protection.Psalm 71:4-7

Lately, I have found God turning up the heat in my life. Circumstances could not be more frustrating. I feel like a little girl at the State Fair unable to find her parents. There are vendors hollering my name, bright lights and a giant Ferris wheel, cotton candy machines, and the smell of candied apples in the air; I cannot enjoy any of it because I am frantically searching for my parents. Life comes fast…and it comes unexpectedly. I find God is oddly quiet and I have to trust Him when I can’t clearly hear His voice. He is holding my tongue, fine tuning my patience, increasing the pressure, exposing my weaknesses. I do well some days to just stand…in the fierce cymbals that blare in my face. My pride wants to erupt and yell for help, for back-up, for an intervention to the continual assault of neon lights, and well-meaning game vendors…but there is no ‘quick fix’ no instant relief. God is eerily silent as I circle round the State Fair of carnival people searching for my security. My soul becomes frantic with worry…and I persevere, knowing I will be rescued by my ‘daddy.’ I go back to where I last saw him, and I wait. Knowing I am not alone…

While Jews clamor for miraculous demonstrations and Greeks go in for philosophical wisdom, we go right on proclaiming Christ, the Crucified. Jews treat this like an anti-miracle—and Greeks pass it off as absurd. But to us who are personally called by God himself—both Jews and Greeks—Christ is God’s ultimate miracle and wisdom all wrapped up in one. Human wisdom is so tinny, so impotent, next to the seeming absurdity of God. Human strength can’t begin to compete with God’s “weakness.”- 1 Corinthians 1:22-25 (The Message)

So Esther did not turn out to be the heroine I originally thought she was. She slept with a pagan King to become Queen. Mordecai had to convince her that ‘she too’ was a Jew…and the decree would not save her despite her royal garments. So she bucked up, “If I perish…I perish,” she stated. So she went before the King hoping for his favor…and she received a nod from His gold scepter allowing her to speak. She cleverly did not spit the venom of Haman right away. She held her tongue for another day…she invited the King and Haman to a banquet. Esther waited. She waited for perfect timing…the Bible does not tell us why or what she was thinking. We only know that she waited for the right moment to expose Haman. The king was moved by Queen Esther. He wrote a new decree that allowed the Jews to defend themselves. Then Esther had Haman’s 10 sons impaled on the palace fence …there was more brutality as Esther showed no mercy. There is no mention of God at the end of the chapter of Esther…only Mordecai…second in command to the King. The great reversal of destiny happened to Haman. Gallows he built for Mordecai…he himself, enjoyed. The greatest reversal of destiny happened to the Jews. Haman wanted them destroyed, but God used a young pagan girl to accomplish His work. The lineage that produced Jesus was spared…although God was eerily ‘inconspicuous’ He was at work and His purpose was not thwarted…even by a few ambiguous pagans. The theme here?  God is always at work…even in the unseen. Beneath the surface of seemingly insignificant events and decisions and uncontrollable power is at work! We are not alone….

He made known his ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel.-Psalm 103:7

As Christians we often want a burning bush, or an angel, or His presence like Adam and Eve had in the garden. We are so busy waiting on a signal…we miss our very life. He is omnipotently present from Genesis through Revelation. Because of His promise we are encouraged to grow, live, and discover our own destiny in Him. God’s will for us unfolds through divine providence day by day, inch by inch, and sometimes when we are reduced to ‘being still’…no matter our circumstances. An often time it takes years to see the ‘extraordinary’ in our ordinary lives…and that is only if God chooses to allow us to see His hand at all. Karen Jobes puts it this way, “The book of Esther is a canonical example of how ambiguous life and history would be if God had only acted, but had not spoken.” But God did speak! He began with Adam and Eve. He continued with the Hall of Famers of Hebrews 11: Abraham, Samuel, Noah, Moses, David, Mary, and Paul. God spoke and people were changed, hearts were comforted, lives were saved, and Jesus came…through the divine intervention of God. We are not alone…

“I stumbled upon a mystery without a solution, a mystery so immense that I gave up trying to find an explanation because the whole mystery defied belief. The mystery was the survival of the Jews… I couldn’t understand how these people had endured as the great people who they were. It was this mystery that drew me back to God. It set into motion the idea that there may in fact be God.”- Novelist Anne Rice

I began wanting to write about Esther…the heroine. But perhaps my view of things were on the ‘character actors’ and not the main character…God. It is about God keeping His word no matter the political posers. God has the ability to work His will through ‘the least of us.’ We are like Esther and Mordecai…morally ambiguous people at best. We have mixed motives, we plot and plan…for promotions and assassinations. Our hearts are not always devoted to covenant obedience. We find ourselves in situations where ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ are gray. There might not be an easy answer or solution. The answer might not be forthcoming and our gifts might not be a match for our complicated situation. And the book of Esther reminds us of the lead character in our story…and it is not us. Terry Mack puts it this way, ““There are no books, secular or biblical that give us one, two, three-step procedures for what to do in tough situations. But all sixty-six books of the Bible rest their cases on the fact that God is the lead character of the universe, and that our initial response to that and to all the situations confronting us is prayerful acknowledgement that God rules.” Trust complicated choices, decisions, and twists to God, and move on. We are not alone…

For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ. – 2 Corinthians 5:21

Peripety = a grand reversal of fortune. The Bible is a literary work of peripety. God using His muscle to redeem His people and save them from what they deserve. He begins In Genesis and weaves His reversal of fortune through people, politics, and seemingly ordinary events…making way for the grandest peripety of all time…Jesus. People that saw Jesus dragging His cross through the street of Jerusalem did not grasp the extraordinary event. Such a destiny was virtually unrecognizable to the world. They did not see The Messiah…they missed the pivot, the hinge, the very thing that changed everything. All they saw were seemingly ordinary events. They were unable to grasp the greatest turn of events in history…God was at work reversing our death sentence! Nothing can wrest that from us. The peripety in Persia…the freeing of the Jews …was only a precursor to the ultimate peripety God had planned for his loved ones. Again, I say, “We are not alone.” God is at work in your circumstances and mine. The lights may blind us, the carnival may seem ‘maze-like’, but God is behind the unknown. God is at work. God is preparing hope, provision, and grand redemption for the ultimate reversal of fortune He began in Genesis. I keep my gaze on Guyana. I pine. I yearn. I remain still…in hopes of a grand reversal of peripety for three little children. I am waiting for my “daddy” to show up. I am moving in inches and centimeters, but He who spans sixty-six books of peripety, is the author and finisher of our seemingly ordinary choices. Choose wisely girlfriends…choose wisely. You never know when those choices are really the extraordinary ones that hinge…

The great paradox of Esther is that God is omnipotently present even where God is most conspicuously absent. Jesus’ last words were, “Go and make disciples of all nations… And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matt. 28:19-20). And then, ironically, he left! Nevertheless, our Lord is omnipotently present even where he is most conspicuously absent. – Karen H. Jobes

But Ruth said, “Don’t force me to leave you; don’t make me go home. Where you go, I go; and where you live, I’ll live. Your people are my people, your God is my god; where you die, I’ll die, and that’s where I’ll be buried, so help me God—not even death itself is going to come between us!”- Ruth 1:16-17

Today I am thinking of Ruth Morgan. Her dad was my pastor as I grew up, attending First Baptist Church in Griffin, Georgia. My girls were the flower girls in Ruth’s wedding. Ruth was a dark skinned, dark haired beauty. Her smile was genuine and long lasting. Her exquisite style made her unique and memorable. Ruth did not have much tolerance for the pompous or righteous individual. For you see, Ruth was the opposite of these personalities. Ruth was kind, meek, and humble. She rallied for the “least of these” and had great concern for the poorest among men. Ruth was long suffering and wise. She was extremely funny and mischievous …to those that knew her well. Ruth was a ‘Mona Lisa’ in a world full of velvet knock offs. Ruth was an amazing example of integrity…until her accident. Then Ruth found herself in the fight of her life. She was fighting to live, she was fighting to believe, and she was fighting for her next breath. Ruth’s body was shattered by a Hispanic immigrant plowing through a stop light, on a cold rainy evening in Washington DC. In a flash…her life was altered and her faith was on the anvil as she valiantly ‘fought hell’ to clear the smoke and pick up the pieces.

“God’s presence separates us from all others on the face of the earth.”-John Bevere

This week I have been reflecting on the story of two Ruth’s. One is from Griffin, Georgia and one is from the Bible. These days I find myself looking for a few strong women that I can draw strength from as we move closer to the adoption of three little ones. Lately, I found myself impatient and demanding, until the burden became too heavy, and I collapsed into a broken down ‘heap of crying ugly.’ Burdens seem so heavy. The children seem so distant. My faith feeling pierced by well meaning friends, I picked up the paintbrush (for the 100th time.) And as I painted, tears fell into the paint can. Everything in my life seemed like boulders. There is still grunt work left at the house. Our cars are hissing as we crank them each morning. There is a deck to be built, a fence to be secured, a swing set to be put back together, a porch to be finished…and my dad lies wasting away in Griffin. I stay up at night working on lesson plans. I paint in the evening…and there is a mound of paperwork to be completed concerning the adoption. I feel discouraged, overwhelmed, hurt, and doubting.  As I apologize to Mike… I decide to read about Ruth. Ruth was loyal, humble, righteous, and industrious. Industrious. I read her story over and over again. When Ruth and Naomi arrive in Bethlehem she immediately begins to look for a way to provide for the two of them. Ruth was willing to work hard to provide what was needed for them to survive. Ruth was diligent, dependable, and extremely industrious. And Boaz took note of how hard Ruth worked. Hmmm. Being industrious for His purposes yields great reward if we look at Ruth’s story. Perhaps being negative and whining isn’t edifying or very glorifying to Him…who created me to be ‘joyful’ in all circumstances. Maybe the whining isn’t the best use of my time. I really needed a good dose of His healing presence. The presence that Adam had. The presence that Abraham had. The supreme presence that led Samuel, Noah and David, I also need to survive. HIS presence, the One that brings sufficiency…I needed Him. His presence is all I need to cherish and dream upon. His presence makes all things worthwhile. His presence will comfort and direct… I need His holy presence to renew and splash over me. The lessons of Ruth’s story help to renew my weakened state. Ruth’s story reminds us that GOD directs our path…she worked in Boaz’s field by His design. Ruth’s story reminds us of God’s grace…after Ruth’s Moabite background …God redeemed her future. Ruth’s story reminds us that good can come out of bad situations…God took Naomi and Ruth’s heartache and pain, and He ensured their safety and provided a new future for both of them. And my favorite lesson from Ruth this week?  Our actions can impact future generations; the godly lives of Ruth and Boaz were a blessing, not only to Naomi, but to all subsequent generations. We do not realize at the time what effect our actions will have in the future, but they could reach further than we think. (I am smiling as I think of three little ones in Guyana.)

God wills that we should push on into His presence and live our whole life there. This is to be known to us in conscious experience. It is more than a doctrine to be held; it is a life to be enjoyed every moment of every day. A.W. Tozer (The Pursuit of God, pg. 34)

I began speaking of my friend, Ruth. Her healing took months…into years of learning to walk again (with a cane.) The fight back was like that of a battered soldier at Walter Reed hospital. It took everything to fight and drag herself back into the land of the living. The Hispanic immigrant had no insurance. Ruth had to eventually leave a job she had loved…and her faith was battered and beaten up. She became reclusive and angered towards the very people she use to defend and verbally stand up for. But Ruth was a fighter…and God knew the exquisite beauty He had created. So after a couple of years of wrestling … it came to be that Ruth needed a repair on her house. And the worker that came happened to be a Hispanic immigrant. At first she clenched her scarred body in indignance and anger. There was foaming hatred about to erupt…and His presence entered Ruth’s home. The man was gentle, caring, and kind. He asked about her cane…and her injuries…and that afternoon Ruth called her dad in a ‘heap of crying ugly’ to say the hatred and resentment she had been carrying had been washed away. Ruth, like the Ruth from the Bible, remembered the warmth of His presence and experienced the good that can come out of a bad situation. His presence is something we can never be without. Without Him…everything would be meaningless. He gives joy in every circumstance because His sufficient presence sustains the turbulence and beauty of our lives. He is God. We need only meet Him with a faith like Samuel. “Yes Lord, your servant is listening.” No more heap of ugly tears…I will pray for a back that is strong enough to carry the load. If Jesus can carry my cross and pay my debt; I can fight the flames of hell and pick up the pieces of my disappointment until His triumphant return. Three children are depending on me. Both Ruth’s are waving me home…

John Bevere in his book, Drawing Near asks, “The question is still what hinders us? Why are we struggling in our own strength, missing the mark due to our blindness? Why are so many of us dissatisfied and bored when we have such a wonderful hope backed by His promise which can’t be broken?”

With the veil removed by the rending of Jesus’ flesh, with nothing on God’s side to prevent us from entering, why do we tarry without? Why do we consent to abide all our days just outside the Holy of Holies and never enter at all to look upon God? We hear the Bridegroom say, “Let me see thy countenance, let me hear thy voice; for sweet is thy voice, and thy countenance is comely.” (Song of Solomon 2: 14). We sense that the call is for us, but still we fail to draw near, and the years pass and we grow old and tired in the outer tabernacle. What hinders us? -A.W. Tozer (The Pursuit of God, pg. 41)

For the word of God is living and active . . .  Hebrews 4:12a

I love to study the Bible.  It is one of the joys of my life.   There are 6 different women’s Bible study groups going on now each Tuesday morning and evening at Dogwood Church.  This is the very best way to get to know your God and His people.  I cannot recommend it highly enough.  He has revealed Himself through His Word – the Bible.  Get to know Him through it!

And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him. –Hebrews 11:6

Lately, I have been running to keep up with my life. I actually am out of breath. When God creates an adventure for us…designed especially for us…we should be worn out … “for His sake.” Certainly I have been living no ordinary life. There is nothing ordinary about me right now. And the funny thing is, I think (know) that God created this in me long ago; this kind of non-conformist, unconventional, opinionated attitude. And I genuinely think the things I got whippings for as a child…God needed. God knew. God knew me. God knew the tools He would need to increase my faith. God knew the exact man I would need for an adventure we would be assigned…an adventure that had ‘lifetime’ attached to it. And I have seen His wondrous hand so much in the last 3 months…that I just trust Him in my life. Somehow…knowing that He knows…makes me able to walk in this adoption process. Knowing that He loves those three little Guyanese beauties more than I…is reassuring when I fumble things. Knowing that He created this desire in our hearts is comforting…when I have not seen their little faces since July 17th. Knowing that He walks them through each day is reassuring …since I cannot hold them or hug them or hear their laughter. I just have to keep walking into what He told me. What He promised…I can’t afford myself the weakness of looking back, of questioning the adventure. I remember who He sent. He sent Mary Michael. He sent Meg. He sent Jake. He sent Mallory. And He sent Mike and me… Certainly this resilience was the same resilience that drove my mother to her knees as I challenged her while I was growing up. But God would use it for His glory. God would need it for my current mission. God knew when He made me exactly what He would need for His greater good. And so I walk into His voice, His provision, His path. I have faith in His right arm. I am growing a Hannah faith. I have read her story a lot this week. Hannah was no ordinary woman…and I want to have Hannah faith. I want God to use me up for His glory, His purpose, His mission. So…I find myself busy. Busy about His business.

… “The Lord remembered her plea”… -1 Samuel 1:19

When was the last time you were accused of being drunk in church? I mean so grieved that the preacher thought you were intoxicated. That is what happened to Hannah. She wanted a child so desperately that she was aching out loud for God to hear her prayer. She made a promise to GOD that she would dedicate her firstborn child to the temple…if only GOD would hear and answer her prayer. Eli must have been taken aback. He had thought Hannah “impaired” by her spirit. How about us? Are we impaired for Him to move and have HIS way in us? Are we groaning for HIS PRESENCE? That was Hannah faith. Hannah seemed to find ultimate peace in the presence of God. She felt Him. She believed in Him. She waited on Him. Hannah went back home and GOD REMEMBERED her. It is biblically recorded…GOD remembered Hannah’s prayer!! Do we get before God and pray anything that is memorable? Do we carve out time that He hears and that pleases Him? Hannah knew how to pray because she knew Him. She felt comforted by His capabilities and she understood His resources. She anguished for His answer to her prayers. And GOD was moved. Hannah went home and became pregnant. And when Samuel was weaned…she left him in the temple to live with Eli, the ‘not so perfect’ father and priest. Hannah remembered that GOD had provided…and she trusted Him with her future. And God gave her 6 more children. So…what was the walk home from the temple like for Hannah? Hannah had to have heard Samuel crying…and yet she walked. Hannah had to have heard Satan’s taunting of “barrenness” and would there really be more children…and yet she walked. Hannah did not put her faith in her circumstances. Hannah put all of her faith in God…like Abraham; Hannah felt ultimate peace before God. And Samuel grew up to be a high priest for Israel because of the faith of his mother. Hannah is not counted as one of the ones of great faith in the biblical recordings of Hebrews; but her son Samuel is, Hebrews 11:32. Hannah prayed prayers that caused the Lord God to remember her….I want Hannah faith.

And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. -1 John 5:14

So I find myself in need of resilience these days. I find that I need to be able to “sift through the naysayers” and stand on what God has revealed. I find that my skin has to be oiled in His salve to endure the negativity of people who don’t understand how God works and moves. I have to keep walking when I hear the cries of comfort…or impossibilities…I think of God. I think of how He made me…I think of how He has refined me…I think of what He has shown me…and I just keep walking. Finding that the only peace I have is in His presence. He is sufficient. He loves me and I love Him. He has proved faithful thus far. He knows me. He knows my weaknesses and He knows my strengths. He knows my heart. He knows the three children I pine for in my spirit. He knows their weaknesses and strengths and He knows just what they need. I am walking in faith that He will provide a great collision of my family’s needs and the needs of Brian, Amy, and Davi’s needs. He knows the height and breadth of the undertaking…and I choose to have Hannah faith that He will see me through. Join me. Let’s pray like we are impaired. Let’s be intoxicated for His sake. Let’s have Him remember our prayers…

Hannah’s Prayer of Praise

Then Hannah prayed:

“My heart rejoices in the Lord!
The Lord has made me strong.
Now I have an answer for my enemies;
I rejoice because you rescued me.
No one is holy like the Lord!
There is no one besides you;
there is no Rock like our God.

“Stop acting so proud and haughty!
Don’t speak with such arrogance!
For the Lord is a God who knows what you have done;
he will judge your actions.
The bow of the mighty is now broken,
and those who stumbled are now strong.
Those who were well fed are now starving,
and those who were starving are now full.
The childless woman now has seven children,
and the woman with many children wastes away.
The Lord gives both death and life;
he brings some down to the grave but raises others up.
The Lord makes some poor and others rich;
he brings some down and lifts others up.
He lifts the poor from the dust
and the needy from the garbage dump.
He sets them among princes,
placing them in seats of honor.
For all the earth is the Lord’s,
and he has set the world in order.

“He will protect his faithful ones,
but the wicked will disappear in darkness.
No one will succeed by strength alone.
Those who fight against the Lord will be shattered.
He thunders against them from heaven;
the Lord judges throughout the earth.
He gives power to his king;
he increases the strength of his anointed one.”

– 2 Samuel (New Living Translation)